It's hard to admit that sometimes, you need time for yourself. Time to heal from the pain of the past or time to grow into a more mature person. Maybe you and your boyfriend/girlfriend are on "a break". I think each couple has there own unique set of rules between them. Maybe the two of you agreed to take time a part and to date other people, but yet there may be hope for the two of you in the near future. Or maybe your break up was more final than a mere separation. Either way, this leaves you in a position where you feel like you're in limbo, i.e. "on the rebound". This is a very sensitive time for you right now. It's the moment where you should take time to be alone and to reflect on things; not hastily rushing into another relationship to compensate (for the lack of a companion). I've been there and I get it. At first, it sucks and you feel utterly alone. Then resentment may kick in towards your "ex". For me, I wanted to lash out by dating "on the rebound". I was juggling multiple guys in search for attention. Instead of stepping back and looking at the situation, I was in shock; wanting to numb the pain. It took a couple of awkward experiences and situations for me to realize that dating "on the rebound" was not the right decision.
I've read articles and watched videos of relationship therapists, psychologists, and other professionals discuss this notion of quickly dating after a break up (in an effort to forget the last person that you were with). All of these contributors had the same perspective in common and that was that it's not emotionally healthy to do so (depending on the length of your last relationship). Some even shared studies that revealed people literally took time off from work to invest in their emotional health after a serious break up. From my experience, it's as if you're opening up a door that you shouldn't even be messing with when you abruptly enter into another relationship. It's not fair to that new person who thinks that you're genuinely interested in them when in actuality, you're only looking for a place holder while you figure things out.
If this is where you find yourself right now, it's best that you take this opportunity to invest in yourself. I have heard countless stories of couples reuniting after taking time apart (myself included) and how it made their relationship stronger. Or maybe, your break up was all for the best and this is your time to move forward with a fresh start. The only good thing that came out of me and my boyfriend dating "on the rebound" while apart was that we both realized that "what we have" is undeniable (even if we have had some rocky moments). The guys that I have interacted with don't compare to my guy! But, I would only recommend dating after you have taken some time to be alone and invest in your emotional well being.
I like to have moments alone from time to time to think about my life thus far, where I'm at, what I'd like to accomplish, short term/long term goals, and etc. I also use this time to pray; seeking GOD'S counsel as I ask for wisdom in every situation (as a #christian). Either way, you should reflect on your past relationship; taking note of what went wrong and why did things end. This is your time to heal from the situation. This process enables you to mature over time; allowing you to forgive and to let go.
May be your relationship didn't end with a pretty little period at the end of the sentence; making you feel like you need closure. But sometimes the best closure is no closure at all. Sometimes, we have to let the dust settle and move forward regardless. You have to keep going! I've had my moments where I was in such shock that I felt numb and paralyzed; not wanting to do anything. My boyfriend and I had "plans" and he got "cold feet"; catching me off guard. I wasn't prepared for it and I had to adjust in such a way that it caused me to return home to Pittsburgh. But that was then. Needless to say, our time apart changed me. I'm not who I used to be and in a bittersweet way, I'm grateful. I look in the mirror and I see a strong woman looking back at me. I've forgiven my boyfriend and we have both grown as a result of everything. I see the change in him!
So like I said from the start, if you take this moment to be single and to work on yourself emotionally; you'll be grateful too in the long run. Don't feel the need to fill a void in your life by hooking up with the first person that winks at you. Date yourself for a little while. Take the time to examine your flaws and to take the necessary steps to change so that you can be a better partner (if you reunite with your "ex" or enter into a new healthy relationship). You don't want to burden an innocent person with your emotional drama just because you didn't want to go to the movies alone. Time does heal all wounds and distance does make the heart grow fonder. If you do end up rekindling your relationship after a break up; you want it to be more solid and stronger than ever before. That means that you should treasure this time apart and use it wisely to become the person that your special someone needs.
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