When I was a teen, I hated “awkward situations”! I felt uncomfortable and wanted to avoid them at all costs. Now that I’m in my late 20s, I have more wisdom in dealing with situations that aren’t pleasant. They still feel awkward and I still want to avoid them, but I no longer act in a naive way when face to face with an undesirable moment.
I’ve come to realize that a lot of people, especially women, feel the need to have #closure when it comes to these awkward moments in life. Many feel that closure will bring resolution and resolve; enabling them to move forward with their lives. But what do you tell the family of a murder victim when there’s little to no evidence and the case goes cold for years (even decades). Some families get the closure they need, but many never will. They, as a result, must move forward and find peace in the midst of the pain that they feel even though it would be better if they knew who did the crime and why. I say all of this as an example to paint a picture. Sometimes in life, we will not get the closure that we want or may think that we need. There are some special circumstances that simply just end. They stop on their own and you must press forward in spite of there being a lack of closure. Closure to me is the period at the end of the sentence. We want things to be tidy and neat; not messy, awkward, complicated, incomplete, and confusing!
In my life, I have been confronted with situations where the other party wanted closure. They wanted to further discuss the situation in an effort to find some resolve. When you really think about, all they want to do is just talk in circles about what happened. This is where pride comes into play. We all want to defend and protect ourselves. When you feel threatened you’re on the defensive side. You want to be heard and understood. This is why many people like to have the final say as if that means they won the debate. It takes a strong person to know when to stay silent and when to speak up. Overall, these same situations I have been in all had to simply end. There was no closure except the ending of the dysfunction. From a toxic friendship to an unpleasant living arrangement; these experiences have taught me to accept how things end. They help you to push forward in the face of adversity. In both situations I have discovered things about myself and saw my true strength rise up. Those awkward moments tested me and made me better. I know who I am and what I want out of life.
I share all of this in an effort to get you thinking. Maybe the situation you’re facing is one that you must simply let go. There are times where you must talk things through in order to know whether or not a relationship will continue on or be laid to rest. Like I mentioned before, people want to protect themselves, and this means that in our minds we think we’re the one that’s right. I try to live my life in a way where I can see not only other people for who they are, but also myself. I recognize that I have made mistakes in some situations that have led the outcome to be what it was. I take full responsibility for my actions, but when you’re interacting with people who can’t see themselves for who they are and treat you like a criminal; then for the preservation of your own sanity you need to cut them loose.
In all, sometimes the best closure is no closure at all. To just move on from a situation and find healing as you go forward with your life. You don’t need to explain and defend yourself all of the time in order to try to make people understand where you’re coming from. These moments also reveal a person’s true colors. This is what will let you know whether a relationship is worth saving or not.
Check out these similar AESTHETIC Posts:
“TIME TO TALK?” Published April 7, 2019
“MIND GAMES” Published January 10, 2019
Santé
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