To post or not to post? That’s the question for most men these days as there seems to be a never ending debate concerning #socialmedia, oversharing, and the effects that both of these have. I thought that the topic of men choosing to either opt in or out of actively posting is an interesting subject to explore; especially concerning #millennialmen. As #millennials, we’re the generation that grew up exposed to technology when it was at its prime. The internet and cell phones were evolving rapidly right before our eyes. I was a senior in high school when Facebook was launched and people were still into MySpace at the time. Facebook seemed like something for people who were 10-20 years out of high school looking for old friends. But with the rise of these #socialmedia platforms and the ones that followed in their footsteps (Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, etc.); society dived headfirst into the posting-phenomena that has also developed into a social problem.
Posting on #socialmedia enables everyone to put out the image that they want others to see. It’s an easy way to project a false image of who you really are. With photo editing we can use filters to make our selfies look more attractive. You can also change your eye color and hair color to look more appealing. Many users have also allowed #socialmedia to determine their self-worth based upon how many #likes or #followers they obtain. As a #blogger and #influencer, I’m amazed at how #socialmedia has enabled people to become #entrepreneurs online by using their platforms to promote their brand/products. But too much of a good thing can become detrimental. I don’t have to show you article after article about how #socialmedia has led to someone committing suicide or stalking someone; leading to a very dangerous outcome. But these things are happening. I don’t believe that #socialmedia makes people do reckless things, but I do believe that it can be a type of instigator especially if the person using #socialmedia isn’t emotionally or mentally stable.
But how do these things relate to the #millennialman?
Sadly, I was unable to find articles online about the affects of #socialmedia on men. I either found research concerning boys using #socialmedia. Or the topic of #socialmedia concerned both men and women as a whole. I personally feel that there has to be some type of distinction between the sexes. I’m curious to know how men perceive #socialmedia personally. Many people use different social platforms to promote their business, brand, and/or products, but what about their personal lives? I feel that as human beings, we can’t help but share even a little tidbit of information about ourselves. The truth comes out one way or another if that be by our words or our actions. I think that #socialmedia can be used in a healthy manner and capacity that allows people to share their personality and interests. But there tends to be a real oversharing issue where people post too much about themselves. This in my mind can cause a person to become vulnerable in the wrong way; allowing predators to knock on their door!
But then on the flip side, you have people that refuse to use #socialmedia all together as if it’s the plague or it’s beneath them. I believe there has to be a more deeper hidden reason to why a person would absolutely refuse to go on #socialmedia from time to time. My experience with people (men especially) who don’t post is that they just went through a personal situation; thus they feel that they don’t have a reason to share anything. This is understandable when you’re going through a difficult time in your life. But at first, that person will put #socialmedia down as if only narcissistic self-loving attention-craving people go on #socialmedia to fulfill a void within them. The pattern is that the person will mock and put #socialmedia down then after you continue to dig and connect the dots; it is soon revealed that that person feels like they have nothing to share because of their own personal pain. It was all a front; used as an excuse for them to not share on #socialmedia.
But even if you’re not personally using #socialmedia you’re still on it! Friends and family share photos of you at an event or outing. People that I don’t even talk to anymore continue to tag me in posts that show up on my feed! We live in a connected world that will leave no man behind. #Socialmedia is all around us; influencing every facet of our lives from the news to fashion as well as health trends and cultural ideologies. Being #offgrid is an absolute farce in my opinion.
According to a research article by Courtney Seiter for Buffer.com, “Humans devote about 30–40% of all speech to talking about themselves. But online that number jumps to about 80% of social media posts. (...) Online, we have time to construct and refine. This is what psychologists call self-presentation: positioning yourself the way you want to be seen. The feeling we get from self-presentation is so strong that viewing your own Facebook profilehas been shown to increase your self-esteem.” The site goes on to share that “(...)social media is an extension of our human tendencies(...) we all have a tendency to assess our worth by comparing ourselves to others. We’re constantly comparing ourselves against a stream of new babies, engagements, new jobs. (...) This isn’t just a Facebook issue; it happens on Instagram, where Instagram envyruns rampant(...) Social media can gnaw at our insecurities and suck us in, but at its core, it’s about the good in the world: seeing it in ourselves, recognizing it in others, passing it on. It allows us to get a little closer, a little more empathetic, a little nearer to who we truly want to be. Brands have the opportunity to connectwith us if they’re willing to be human along with us – with all the messiness, anxieties and joys that comes with that.”
Read the full article here:
Yet, as I mentioned prior, there’s an ongoing debate concerning #socialmedia. It’s as if for some, #socialmedia is either all good or all bad. In this throwback “Psychology Today” article from 2016, writer Mike Mariani, writes that “Research is beginning to suggest a correlation between the heavy use of social media platforms and the Dark Triad—a cluster of personality traits that includes psychopathy, Machiavellianism, and narcissism. These traits have existed independent of selfies and status updates for centuries and proving any sort of causal connection remains elusive, but it seems possible that some relationship exists. It’s important to note, however, that while studies have linked time spent on social networkingsites with the dark traits, these personality types are certainly not the only predictors of heavy social media use.”
The article continues to state that “Other studies have found that extroversionand openness to experience were also associated with time spent on social media platforms. Nevertheless, W. Keith Campbell, a psychologist at the University of Georgia, notes that social media have created a great environment for self-obsession to thrive. Although society in general doesn’t condone an individual who is laser-focused on his own appearance, opinions, and achievements, social media platforms are perfect hotbeds for the self-absorbed. In one study, researchers found that the more socially aversive characteristics subjects possessed, the more time they spent on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Another study, carried out in 2013 by researchers at the University of Michigan, found that tweeting was moderately associated with a sense of superiority, while posting on Facebook corresponded with exhibitionism.”
After searching and reading articles for this post; I’ve come to the realization that (overall) #socialmedia only plays the role in revealing who a person truly is. There are men and women who choose not to post; if it be for personal reasons where they don’t want to share their life with the world like that. Or they may be introverted and prefer to keep to themselves; living a more simple-old school life (free from online social trends). Then there are those that linger in the middle. I identify as someone who maintains a healthy balance of using #socialmedia to promote my brand. I only share a few things about my personal life from time to time to be more relatable to my audience. This may be where you’re at as well when it comes to how you utilize #socialmedia. Then in the final category are the ones who post obsessively. They find their self-worth in the attention. #Socialmedia has become their addiction (their drug of choice). It gives them a high that they crave in order to function properly. Society and culture present ideas to us on a daily basis that causes us to determine whether we will go with the trends or think for ourselves.
Overall, what you choose to post or not post speaks volumes. It reveals the truth about who you are; whether you’re freely sharing it with the world or not! And to me, it’s an interesting view of one’s #aesthetic.
